Joining (or re-joining) the dating scene can be daunting if you’re not naturally a self-confident person. This checklist of tips for confidence building is a good place to start if your self-belief could do with a little top up.
People that seem to ooze confidence, often talk about going through lots of knock-backs, until they reach success – because they became a stronger individual. The lesson here is not to worry if not everyone likes you, just think you are one step closer to meeting the right person.
Confident individuals also often say they use visualisation tools. If you’ve been too shy to try something new, like no strings dating for example, try visualising successfully reaching your end goal. If you don’t let fears cloud the picture, it’s possible to train your brain to achieve it.
Taking photos of yourself for social media or adult dating sites can be another challenge if you’re not used to putting yourself out there. So, when it comes to taking selfies, trust me when I say, the light is your friend. Ideally natural light, whether that be standing in front of a window or heading outside. This way any under-eye bags or shadows can literally disappear. If you’re in a dark bar for example, use an App like Snapchat that has a forward-facing flash. Then take lots and lots of photos, smile like you mean it or smile with your eyes, hold the camera and tilt your head until you find the most flattering angles. Hold the camera up and keep your chin down – and if you’re really serious, use a selfie stick – but try to act natural (with a lot of practice that will come!) Some light editing to remove signs of tiredness is fine, but don’t change your look entirely – no one wants to be misled!
Before you meet someone new, do something that makes you feel upbeat and positive. Think about what makes you feel uplifted – seeing a certain friend, taking exercise, wearing a particular outfit, listening to a favourite playlist. It could give you the extra spring in your step you need!
When you arrange to meet, choose a location that makes you feel relaxed. Somewhere you are already familiar with i.e. you know the dress code, the atmosphere and whether you feel comfortable meeting a stranger there. Perhaps don’t choose somewhere around the corner from your home or work, to avoid unwanted interruptions or uncomfortableness.
Do you feel good when you get dressed and walk out of the house in the morning, if not think about why? Is it because you are wearing the same old clothes repeatedly – if so, buy something that’s on trend now – you look good, you feel good! Is it because you’re grouchy because you stayed up too late? Or because you can’t remember the last time you did something you enjoy or are good at. These are all small changes you can quickly and easily make to boost your confidence. Helping other people can also raise our mood and gives us something interesting to talk about, which can be another factor towards self-confidence.